Because there is so little time. And I saw myself as the rook. In the picture from on Mom’s desk. Sending me cold all over. Really head to toe. Like I was a monster from some warped horror. A rolling carpet of skin cells. Going white. You know, I don’t recall who I even was ten days ago. My own still image just enough in shadow to see my own face go. In the very darkest way, odd. With the purest fear in me. The reflection of my eye in the vape kept me still and calm.