This last entry is the first one I have read, and not. Good sanction on my own policies for self-regulation depending. There is the overt suction sound going when prior helms depress oxygen containment. In a vial I am ducking the exit to. To rend sifted sand already bright slipt through my hand. Telling few truths but somehow. Found out on my own my own finding out. Glass on my screen on life partially cracked but already so thinly. Here I am sensing always sensing sometime feeling that sense lift when I’m about to fall asleep. Then sometimes not, sometimes entirely gone. Pulling through this wakefulness desperate, sometimes. But not looking at things the way I should, and aware of that, and aware I should be thinking something more to the tune of not-having-a-song-playing-right-now or what have you, but still listening. Still having songs playing. The world already doing music with arbitrary noise. Birds and shit outside window. Cars. The electric kick of AC units. Neighbors. Dogs. Cloves of something in the brighter eye. Ex Wye Zee. Toning-in fire. Blue ways night. Gone-off wanderers visiting unknown place unkowably. Except with how they return later to tell you and it’s known. All this What am I doing now. No, to the point, spilling mess. Ticking clock of high-low. Safe but truer. Flown-on. Sponsored Kite. Run a tail of blades over the sky and tried steering it away from everybody. Myself my presence. What it is, whatever it is. Wondering this, too. To be honest still nesting waiting for something to take me by the nape and fling me out into void truth. While with heart hollering my last impromptu exclamation or goodbye. Some dramatic seriousness like that, haha. Weakness of mine this sick solemnity. Yes. But sometimes. Most of the offset zu-nai lakes beat like heart valves and repose glowing gusts of weaver fish with heavenly pacts and the like. You can take it all down and you can report to the side. You can become more yourself than you ever knew just by being alone. You can see this, too. Just by doing. Today I have changed locations and situations and mind in a very, very good way. I am now on my own and so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so breathlessly stupidly humbly fucking happy even I have no clue. No idea, but ho. Yeah. It is a good thing. And so, I will keep trying to do this. Now more. I will try to write to you as much as I can as I may as much as I can now, too. I will try to communicate with the outside world. I know this all self blue-eyed rum-haggard spunk-zoinked weedling bump I am. Still aloofly in love with this too. Still having my company alone with you who are not here, still loving it. Thank you. Thank you so much you have no clue. I am becoming more and more sure that there is a God. I don’t know. I don’t know. But I have faith, and that is why I believe more and more it is true. And listen to my feelings, that is something I also do (too much, sometimes). But I listen to my feelings and I listen and I find somethings sometimes, too. Some things like evidence of truth. Have yourself a mighty mighty mighty one. Take care.